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What's Your NewCouple Quotient?
A Quiz for Couples


Partners, please take this quiz separately.
If you're currently working on the issue addressed by a particular question -- whether in a class, program, therapy or support group -- select "Usually" for that question.
Please select one option for each and every question and then click on "What is My NewCouple Quotient?" at the bottom of the page.

  There is also a NewCouple Quiz for Singles.  
1. Do you routinely share your most important thoughts, feelings and life experiences with your partner?
2. Do your two bodies seem to love each other almost independently of your minds?
3. Are you able to manage any addictions or compulsions -- such as alcohol, tobacco, food, work or sex -- so they don't become a source of tension in your relationship?
4. Are your relationships with others -- including family, friends, ex's and work colleagues -- sufficiently straight-forward so they present no problems in your relationship?
5. Do you regularly level with each other about how you feel toward each other, even when the feelings are difficult or painful to express?
6. Are you able to label your feelings -- both "good" (e.g., gratitude, admiration, love) and "bad" (e.g., guilt, disappointment, anger) -- at the moment you experience them?
7. Are you able to tell your partner these same feelings in a positive and constructive way so that he or she can understand and accept them?
8. Do you and your partner carve out special time at least once a week to share what's really going on for you, and are you able to truly able to listen to the other from the heart?
9. Do you both feel that the way money is earned and managed in your relationship is fair?
10. When you think of all the day-to-day duties and responsibilities of your life together, do you feel they're divided fairly between the two of you?
11. Have you openly discussed with your partner how any differences in gender, age, ethnicity, religion, career, education and financial status make you feel?
12. Do you two consistently -- either on your own or with facilitation -- resolve conflicts until all resentment is dissolved?
13. Are you able to tell your partner when you're feeling upset without being aggressive or disrespectful or shutting him or her out?
14. Have you clearly expressed to your partner that abusive or self-destructive behaviors and sexual betrayals are unacceptable to you?
15. Are you aware that the most confounding issues with your partner relate to your most confounding issues with your parents, siblings and others you grew up with?
16. Are you able to stick up for yourself with your partner?
17. Are you aware of, and working on, your areas of low self-esteem?
18. Are you doing work that's deeply fulfilling and contributes to the greater good?
19. Could you leave your partner if your baseline conditions for relationship are violated or ignored and outside help has been refused or failed?
20. Are you willing to pursue whatever education and healing is necessary to keep you relationship healthy?


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